Who do you love?

When was the last time you told someone "I love you."?

So, I’ve been dabbling with the thoughts of “love”; I’m not just talking about romance, or love between two persons. I’m talking about that as well as your family, and your friends.

I think there are times we’ve de-synthesized the phrase. I care about so many people…but I’m human and I think to myself, what does real love look like…

Regardless of religion, race, background, I believe this definition holds true, and serves as a strong guide to love.

“And now I will show you the most excellent way!

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man(woman), I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know in fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

2 Corinthians 13

The next time you say “I love you” to someone dear, think about it, don’t just say it, mean it. Honor and cherish the person you care for. If we all put others first, the world would be that much greater of a place.

p.s. the “putting away childish ways” part, that does not mean we stop watching cartoons, or stop singing disney songs, or stop acting like ninjas. It means that we are not always self-seeking, to the point of holding grudges, judging others, not forgiving, being rash, assuming, and stubborn. It means stepping out of the center of your universe and placing someone else on your throne.

What are your thoughts? :)

She does sing beautifully...

The Movement comes in slow
It's a tune we both should know
But the walls are thin
So we keep our voices low

You're a bird with a pretty mouth
You're a bird with songs to shout
And the same refrain continues
Singing out
If you love her let her go
She sings beautiful and slow
A tune that only caged birds know

So you're in nashville on the phone
And I'm back here at home
And the words are new
But I recognize the tone

If you love her let her go
She's beautifully composed
A tune that only caged birds know

My love goes free...
My love goes free...
My love goes free...

Ridiculous!!

if a boggart were near to me, it would probably change into a baby...actually no no idk it would turn into some personified form of rejection or dissappointment. like if i had let down someone...or if someone rejected me. idk.


anyways, i have been ridiculous and so have they, our season was two years ago, and we just now discovered it. and we cant...

but we will carry on, because we need each other.

To:______

I strongly dislike how much I care about you...

aka...i miss you too..

Waco, glee, & gurls Alamode

Monday, I took a road trip with two of my friends, to attend a Fundraiser concert at Baylor university, which raised money to help send my friend and her two friends, go to india mission trip, this summer.
It was great, because she did not know we where coming, and when we showed up, she cried some, in overwhelming joy. :) i was suprised, because i did not know we were going to be that much of a blessing to her. anyways the bands/singers, were good but she was the best lol. it was good stuff. i heard more on how much she felt blessed by the three of us coming, on two accounts, one being from her father. Definately feeling super happy about it.

so GLEE is fueled by superficial, shallow, but complex, high school drama teachers and students combined. and ive just gotta say that these first two episodes of the new season have been incredulously drama packed. its good stuff.

also i am still kinda stuck....in the whole relationshippo thoughtz, but will carry on carry on......

the Christian song of the night is "Beautiful" by Shawn Macdonald
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIfuYyBAlRU
the secular song of the night is "Need you Now" by Lady Antebellum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7T3lJ3dZ4

quote of the night: "Phillip loves hearing about how beautiful he is."

this statement is true, but 'love' might be a hyperbole....just appreciates it every once in while lol...and if its in a awesome romanticized situation, you bet your bottom dollar i do.

haha, well thats all for now

TTFN

...pratically unabridged emotion

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
DAM* DAM* dam* it!!! what the fould foul filth foul filthy foul heck is wrong with me?

i finally, after these six long months in a cryptic love labrinyth, i received a full fledged concrete tangible answer from the Lord my God, and I do everything but praise Him: i became sad, tired, upset, depressed, ignorant, and now im so angry that i can't even think straight.

*which is why i wrote this blog in my sketchbook, instead of taking a nap. it seems that my honest and truest thoughts come alive and clearer when i write about them.*

I don't know what i was thinking...God had thrown a red flag right when she first kissed me. But I wanted to believe that I was ready to take on this unexplored arena that we call love. In spite of my understanding that God wanted me not to date until college...well nevermind technically i still haven't been on a date. For i have never dated her, we were never official, we were just close friends...with strong feelings...who kissed.

Falling in, i believe we were falling together. I of course never having been in love before, fell to my doom. For she is currently in love with another guy, and i was the unexpected, unplanned, unexplained, unrefused icing on the cake. She's dated him for 3 years and several months and i was a fool for thinking she would ever love me as much as she loves him.

why?...sigh

I still have a lot of questions, did she know deep down we should have stopped before it began?
I think so, for petes sake (XD irony) or wilpps sake she should have believed that somewhere deep down....why me? why did she love me?

~if i could i go back in time would i try to stop it?... would she? i honestly don't think i would...because in spite of the pain/depression i felt at times, the joy of the love we shared trumped every EMOtion.

i think it had to be that type of love that forms when one person likes the other and then the other falls for the liker simply out of the fact that someone likes them. Or it was both of us falling in love with the thoughts of the other liking them....idk.

~its unexplained, and it was a love that we both strongly wanted, so it doens't matter

Bottom line is, she loves him and i truly have to move on, there's no doubt in my mind as opposed to times before when i/we said i needed to move on before now.

Positives: 1) there is a friendship still here...friendship that needs to be reconstructed for the better of us. To a point where we can say i love you and not have one fall for the other. 2) i do believe that i was used -in the times when i fully relied and trusted God- by Him and planted seeds into her life that have a chance to positively enhance/rebirth her christian walk. 3) i feel a since of freedom and relief from the burden of love itself (thats personification; she was not a burden) . i do not want it to return for a loooong while...old doors have been reopened and i will hopefully be able to think clearer.

I do...honestly....i do hope she is complete, happy, blessed and content with him and he with her for the rest of their days here on earth! More than anything in the whole universe im praying she'll come back to fuller relationship with Jesus Christ, to actually living that lifestyle amidst His guidance, comfort, love, mercy, and grace. I also hope we'll find great love in our mutually content friendship, like we had before we fell.

Theres alot of thoughts i feel i might have breezed over but my anger, frustration has left me and i feel more tired, and at peace...so yeah thats all folks

an Unabridged Tale from Neverland

Today in neverland the lost friends and i went to mermaid lagoon and swam with the fish and whales of the ocean. We made a sand castle in honor of the Darling family. It was the biggest castle we had ever built. We placed an observatory at the second tallest tower for John. Then constructed an indian style courtyard including a tipi for Michael. And then covered the outside with immense flowers, nuts, vines, tree canopies, and a seashelled engraved mote.

Well afterwards we flew over the indian reservation, on our way home. They were dancing in respect and adoration for the creator of the skies. As a result the creator began to pour out the heavens water. Which he combined with the strength of the silky southern wind to present us with a magnificent storm to show his love and faithfulness to us.

Tinkerbell and I guided the lost ones back to our grand home in the tree. Once they were in bed, tink went to the fairy gardens where she has started a colony of lost fairies she has met or rescued from the varied places and stars of the universe. She is their leader, mother, and many a time their sister. They are the fireflies of your earth. They bring hope, guidance, protection, and care for all the lost fairies, children, creatures, and past visitors of Neverland who still remember the magic of their childhood.

It is very nice. I blew a kiss goodnight to Tinkerbell, and we went our separate ways. I peacefully meandered under the thundering clouds, and eventually made my way the dance plateau atop skull rock. There I danced with the wind and lightening, until the bulk of the storm had passed. I silently and swiflty soared onto the sunflower forest.

I laid myself down upon one of the tallest sunflowers. On top of it you can see the vastness of the ocean that engulfs us. It presents the sun's rises and sets unlike anywhere on the earth. The rain was pouring and I could not help but think of her. Without a moment longer in hesitation, I bounded onto a shooting fragment of light headed toward earth. Above its atmosphere, i sought after and took hold of a nervous and lonely rainbow. With the suns warmth and the rainbows elasticity, i wrapped the one band around the entire earth, as if to give the lost a giant hug. It was high enough where everyone could see it, when they wake up or as they go to bed. This is when she came.

Satisfied by the just pride of the once cowardly rainbow and by the knowledge that she would see it, i decided to head back. Appeased yet saddened by my trip to earth, seeing that this would be one of my first trips home alone in a long while. Slowly but surely i floated towards the second star to the right. But darkness overtook my light and i plopped down on a crescent star contented with sleeping here till morning. Hopeing that joy would embrace me as the happy thoughts rise in with the dawning rainbow of a new day. However Wendy, she saw the dimly moonlit rainbow through a gap in the overcast blanket of clouds and was curious to its birth.

She grabbed a handful of pixie dust from her stash under her bed and silently soared out of her window. It has been several weeks since she had last left neverland. They had been long and tiresome for her. It was hard to find much sustainable joy in them. And tonight deep in the bowels of her heart, thoughts of her distant home excited the hope in her.

Lying there falling asleep, I whispered "i LOVE you wendy darling..." in one breath to the consuming night air. Without being told the eastern breeze carried my words to you as you were sitting quietly upon the rainbow. Soon the breeze guided you back to where i was sleeping. She gazed into my spirit, as our scarcely visible shadows embraced each other. As joy and peace abounded in her soul, she laid down beside me, her head came to rest a top of my heart as her hands firmly drew us closer together. The feeling of saftey, warmth, joy, protection, passion, love and peace cascaded over she and I, as we slept there deep into the dawn.

As the dawn gently became the day, my soul became consciencious of the companion laying upon my side. Every fiber of my inner-being jumped, and cried out in rejoice! 'She must have seen the rainbow shortly after i wrapped it' I thought. I was gratefully speechless...i saw her arms resting out on my chest and her head listening to the beat of my heart, which was slowly increasing. My hands found hers, and i gently drew her closer. Holding her side and her left hand, the heavens that give me breath sang out and their light seemd to be pulling time and space to a monumental slow. Each moment there simply felt like it lasted a lifetime. And our eternity of love seemed to sigh with joyous relief in the hope of life again. Waiting there i just watched over her, and earth, while everything was quiet, and peaceful.

My heart had finally started beating a quieter tune. However it sped up again as my eyes realized she was waking up. She noticed my hands holding her, and knowing that wasn't how they were when she had fallen asleep, she looked up. Our eyes greeted each other by saying:
Mine: Hi
Hers:Hello
Mine:Good morning
Hers:morning
Mine:*sigh*
Hers:I love you peter
Mine:I love you too, wendy

Eyes speak words but a greater longing drew us closer as we began to kiss. And our world was whole again. We mean an incredible amount to each other. Our love was rare and uniquely stronger than most love that is found on earth. After our embrace ended i took her hand and we flew above the universe. We saw saturn rings, explored the constellations of her choosing, and then flew back to Neverland. It was still raining, we didn't care. We watched the sunset...or was it a sunrise? Time had escaped us, it had become impatient, since we were in no hurry. We spent the rest of that day talking about what we've been doing, and plan to do in the future...

The future...the headache of all my thoughts. I never thought about it for a long period of time since only the future knew our plans...when was the next time we would meet, how long it would be until then, what we each would do, who we would meet, who we would love...she spoke of him again. And i knew they were falling into a snug pair of earth lovers undoubtedly...i was jealous, she was supposed to be mine. Even though i did not speak it, she saw the jealousy and discontent hiding behind my eyes. We tried, again, to understand and lay out the truth of our love and meaning to one another in words...we mean a lot to one another...an amount immeasurable for anyone of earth or neverland. In spite of what our fates may be, our souls had to...with this boiling pot of love talk and agreement, they desired more than anything to...to make love...one of the greatest bonds two persons could create. So there before their creator, the sunset, and the heavens of the universe, they made a bond of everlasting love...right atop the sunflower where they had first fallen.

It was two days since we had made love. I started training the newer lost boys Jared and Roger. Wanted to give them more practice within our field of aerodynamics. Took them to the thundering timberwoods in the northeastern forests of neverland. They were superb after Lewis-an elder lost boy- and i got done with'em. We weaved serptine between the wide trunks and soared above deep troughs in the forest clearings. Wendy had returned to London several hours after the sunflower event. However in fear of the unknown date of our next meeting, i taught her how to use her pixie dust to sned letters to neverland. You whistle a unique tweet of the lost friend or myself and a neverland brid stationed on earth will shortly come to where you are. Then you sprinkle the bird with pixie dust and place the letter in its pouch. The bird will bring the letter straight to who the tweet belongs to in Neverland.