also:
ive had very strong urges, dreams, thoughts of a second chance with her.........
however its seemingly....a dream only.
ive had little talk with any of my female friends, unless they iniate the conversation with me, we won't talk. i will respond and converse with them if they decide to talk to me, but im trying to not start my own conversations, simply because i feel that....idk... my relationship with God needs to stabilize and i need to stop obessing about fallin in love and marrying the girl he has for me. for the time being....
its killing me.... a lot is changing. im becoming incredbily estudious and pwning the majority of my skool work, and it alongside my responsibilties at church is quite good at taking up the mass majority of my time and energy etc. i just need to find a transition to finding peace and joy in my solitude with God.
if she came, if she called me, i would answer...its a terrifying...yet...still... a beautiful dream....
:) :/ :(
