To:______

I strongly dislike how much I care about you...

aka...i miss you too..

dos dias

plain and simple yesterday april 23 was a goxoxd day :P

lots of trust and sunshine.

Also I got to work with my best friend in the entire world, Matthew. :D

I mean to say, he got hired to my catering company at least for the summer.

thats going to be muy DIVERTIDO

As for today, most of my plans fell through, EXCEPT theres still is a possibilty that tonight my dad and i will go see

The Losers

that will be fun. :)

Waco, glee, & gurls Alamode

Monday, I took a road trip with two of my friends, to attend a Fundraiser concert at Baylor university, which raised money to help send my friend and her two friends, go to india mission trip, this summer.
It was great, because she did not know we where coming, and when we showed up, she cried some, in overwhelming joy. :) i was suprised, because i did not know we were going to be that much of a blessing to her. anyways the bands/singers, were good but she was the best lol. it was good stuff. i heard more on how much she felt blessed by the three of us coming, on two accounts, one being from her father. Definately feeling super happy about it.

so GLEE is fueled by superficial, shallow, but complex, high school drama teachers and students combined. and ive just gotta say that these first two episodes of the new season have been incredulously drama packed. its good stuff.

also i am still kinda stuck....in the whole relationshippo thoughtz, but will carry on carry on......

the Christian song of the night is "Beautiful" by Shawn Macdonald
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIfuYyBAlRU
the secular song of the night is "Need you Now" by Lady Antebellum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7T3lJ3dZ4

quote of the night: "Phillip loves hearing about how beautiful he is."

this statement is true, but 'love' might be a hyperbole....just appreciates it every once in while lol...and if its in a awesome romanticized situation, you bet your bottom dollar i do.

haha, well thats all for now

TTFN

Theres this creeper...

..who i know, but i dont know. ive got like two ta four guesses, who she might be.

anyways she's been reading my blog, formspringing me, and probably alot of other stuff i need not to know about.

pretty much, she laid down some conviction in the comments box of my last post....and yeah.

i apologize for seemingly obessing over my first love, who apparently everyone knows, in some strange/ awkward way or another.

so yeah, going be working on...moving on....ugh.

actually i have been trying to find myself in the weeks as of late, and its been only slightly productive, because "with every channel on, we don't know where we belong." which for me, is quite true, ive watched a bazillion movies, tv shows, and youtubes, this semester, and its blows my mind. but in the end i need to find myself with little outside influence.

so yeah, 'touche' creeper. God used you. and He got me good, as usual. definately wasnt expecting that.

anyways,
goodnight my creeper(s)

Emery week begins

im donating my ears to the band Emery this week.

also:
ive had very strong urges, dreams, thoughts of a second chance with her.........

however its seemingly....a dream only.

ive had little talk with any of my female friends, unless they iniate the conversation with me, we won't talk. i will respond and converse with them if they decide to talk to me, but im trying to not start my own conversations, simply because i feel that....idk... my relationship with God needs to stabilize and i need to stop obessing about fallin in love and marrying the girl he has for me. for the time being....

its killing me.... a lot is changing. im becoming incredbily estudious and pwning the majority of my skool work, and it alongside my responsibilties at church is quite good at taking up the mass majority of my time and energy etc. i just need to find a transition to finding peace and joy in my solitude with God.

if she came, if she called me, i would answer...its a terrifying...yet...still... a beautiful dream....

:) :/ :(

drawing

top two girls await to see their loves

Wendy floating outside the open window.

Alice sitting/dreaming on the window sill.

bottom two guys been living without their loves, thinking they would never see them again.

Peter been restlessly sleeping for awhile.

Mad Hatter curling up under his fabrics...

Suprises

Today was a day, where i was bestowed a nice suprise.
She came to my house, without warning.
I dont think i can express how suprised i was. She was the last person i would have expected to show up on my doorstep. She came and we talked and it was a bittersweet (more sweet than bitter) restart to our friendship.


Life is goes on....
2010 has been a very unpredictable ride so far...
and i like it.


also i have lots of english hmwk, and poly sci studying to do for next week...pray for me.

a brief post

i regret what i said in my last post about my former relations with Wendy had become a mere aquaintanceship. i feel like i placed an unequivocated halt to it. which is not something i wanted, still want a friemdship if that be possible.

life continues
..and its GREAT
..no matter how i 'feel'. i need not let my emptions run rampant.
God is in control. i trust him in this season of singleness.
it is well with my soul.

The Princess and the Frog, How to Train your Dragon (3D), Alice in Wonderland, Fantasia 2000 are superb movies.

The Middle, The Office, Community, and Modern Family are all four of my favorite tv shows that are on right now. (GLEE will be back APRIL 13TH)

These bands with their specific CD's have helped me these last months
Phil Wickham- Heaven & Earth
DCB- Church Music
Switchfoot- Hello Hurricane
Fireflight- For Those Who Wait

Upcoming on this blog of mine will be a compilation page of my favorite actors.

wellpers im about to pass out here. im going to bed.

Time and Tide, Love

So its been several a month since my last post, alot has happened:

• cut down that ol' relationship/affair down to a measley acquaintanceship...buts thats more or less because im thick in the head and struggle in understanding her, or women in general.
• struggled a HUGE DEAL with pornography, trying to fill whatever void of imaginative lovelust i had. this brought me a greater deal further off course of my relationship with Jesus Christ. which is horrible.
• therefore i made a COVENANT (which is super serious business) with two of my closest brothers in Christ. this has really helped me alot! im so proud of them.
• i aced my first semester in college. :D im now in my second semester. im at UTA, studying art...film more or less.
• Christmas was unreal. very wonderful, my favorite time of year, bought AND made a lot of gifts. and Celebrated the REAL gift, which was God given us His son Jesus. i praise them everyday for their forgiveness and grace, and love.
• God used me as a tool to lead my cousin back to where he wanted to rededicate his life to Christ. which has been good for him.
• Im actually leading the young mens bible study on thursday nights, with my brother The Tank. my bearded covenant brother is finally back in school, and even though I MISS HIM GREATLY, i know we are all where we are supposed to be.
• everyday i recognize the fact more and more that me and my best friend Matthew are 21st century replicas of David and Jonathan from the bible (1 Samuel 18:1 & 2 Samuel 1:26). i wouldnt have gotten far without him in my life.

Amongst all that ive had my shares of up's and down's and the inverse of sorts, and variety of adventures along the way, involving: lots of gasoline for my NissanObot, girlfriends, best friends, sisters, brothers, movies, cinemarks, IMAX's, cookies, popcorn, ice cream, video games, zombies, music, music, music, pastels, inks, and nepaleonese paper.

Tonight ive had a fickled day of stress and depression accumlated from my sheer dislike of excessive desicion making, however i just watched Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End, (which is awesome) and know deep down that...it would matter

p.s. the last 3 bold words is reference to a skillet song called "would it matter" off their new album AWAKE.

pp.ss. i plan on having a spectacular adventure, involving the sea and maybe my marriage on a pirate ship.

T T F N [ta ta for now]
Love,
Phillip

train of thought

CHOOO CHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL ABOARD THATS COMING ABOARD THE PHILLIPS TRAIN OF THOUGHT!!!

ok ok so this will not be a narrative or a whatever idk. so yeah im blogging because im having withdrawals from facebook and what not because of my goal to give it up for the 10 weeks im doing the "experiancing God" bible study which is really great thus far.

im gonna be honest i had a point...AHAHA! I was going to tell you about my day today!

so highlights: went to class, picked up swell friend Raina, took her home, then i went to my home, ate dinner, aired up my flattened tired, then got on the road to my bible study.....

here is when it happened. i was traveling along, speeding more or less down broad towards belt line, then i spy something on the road...moving on the road OH MY GOSH ITS A TURTLE!!! eereeeerrrrrrr (haha gotcha i didnt squeal my tires) i swerved out of its way though. then trying to recover from the suprise, i realized at its pace would still prolly get crushed! so i pulled over, locked the car, and i ran back down the road to where i had saw him. he had made to the otherside safely but couldnt make it over the curb! so after a few seconds of nervous evaluation i reached down and picked him up, so he at least would be safe and out of the street. i placed him down next to the man made pond or lake.
feeling very happy with my selfless deed, i waited for him to move out of his shell so i could take a picture. but it didnt. but i waited and its head came out some, i took a few pictures anyway.
then i received a phone call, getting up i answered their question and slowly turned around towards the turtle who after my first step, bolted into the lake!! which i now see why the tortoise beat the hare! because he was faaaaast! he got me good on that one, but i'll still enjoy the pictures i have of its shell anyways.


after said turtle rescue i went to cedar hood and picked up my new glasses which are framelessly fabulous! lol. then to bible study where we talked about prayer, it was all in all a very great day i suppose.

anyways so that was my day...

i'll now give you a brief synopsis update thing of whats been going through my thoughts lately:
im falling out of love with my wendy darling, so we both can move on in life. its been horrbly tough. but we each agree its for the better. im going to try and not deal with dating scene for a few months unless God presents a case sooner to me. another reason what im doing the excperiancing God bible study so i can try to grow in my communication and deeper love relationship with Him.

i love my best friends, and late night phone calls! so call me up whenever. im usually in bed before 230-3 A.M.

P.S. i got the new skillet CD "Awake" which is abosolutely suuuuuperb! favorite songs include Lucy, Monster, Hero, and Don't Wake Me. but thats just cuz i can relate to the lyrics in those the most. the whole ablum is amazing, and well done.

yours truly,
phillip